Most people claim to love the movies, and a large majority of them admit to some sort of love/hate or love/love infatuation with the Academy awards. Well, ladies and gentlemen, much like music, food and breathing, I think it’s safe to say everybody “loves” a certain number of movies.

Given the above, and the fact that I have made the minimum amount effort to see fewer than two movies that have personally interested me in the past ... It must be at least five years ... And given the fact that when my wife says, “the Oscars are on tonight,” I have to struggle to remember if that is the awards show for the music sales or the one for the movies, I am going to go ahead and call a spade a spade and say that I hate the movies.

I can easily rattle 50 movies off the top of my head that I thoroughly enjoy, and would watch over and over again, but when the Academy awards roll around, I continually find myself sitting quietly, waiting for someone to start talking about something interesting. I never seem to have seen any of the movies they talk about. I can’t put faces to most of the actors. I’d be hard pressed to name multiple titles by any given director.

Because there are probably multiple hundreds or even thousands of movies that I do love, I have never considered myself a movie hater. Because I love taking my family to the theater and eating popcorn and candy, and drinking too much soda, it never occurred to me that I wasn’t enjoying myself.

As my lack of desire to know the titles of movies that are playing at the theater at any given time compares to the obsessive knowledge of these facts by the vast majority of people who consider themselves movie lovers, I can only be a movie hater.

The fact that I do not know and do not care who directed Raising Arizona, Brain Candy, or Robocop (three of my favorite movies), while most movie lovers are either elated with, disappointed by, or even know who won the Oscar for best director this year, I must hate movies.

Because I will not remember the title of the movie you so adamantly recommend to me five minutes after our conversation changes to a new topic, there can be no other explanation than I am not a movie lover.

I like to watch movies. I like to go to the movies. I just don’t think I’m as into it as you are.